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I'm Not Your Teacher



My mom and I don't have the best relationship. Hell, we barely even talk, but she did give me a valuable lesson once: Don't ever say I love you. I made sure to heed her words of wisdom, and because of that, I lost someone who I thought was my first love, Nathan. I'd even go as far as saying, it kept me from investing all of my heart in a relationship. At least, that's where I think it went wrong with Gareth… That, and the fact that his best friend, David, was absolutely gorgeous.

I tried my best to stay away from him, especially because David was my student teacher, but it wasn't as easy as I thought. His kisses were imprinted in my mind and they confused me more than they clarified anything. We moved on, but remained friends- friends who didn't always talk, but always watched out for each other.

When Jonny came around, I promised myself I would try harder. I'd surpass the insecurities my mom instilled in me, fill the empty holes of my life with love, and invest completely. Until I realized, my mom was right. Her words protected me from guys like Jonny, who used the word love as a means to an end, and not as a beginning.

It seemed like my life could be defined by failed relations and one valuable lesson. Little did I know, David had a lot more to teach me than just music appreciation. 



I look back to see who is speaking. “Oh, hey David.”

He sits down beside me on the small cement porch.

“If you’re out here to tell me I overreacted I don’t care. All guys can go to hell.”

“Wow, that escalated quickly.”

“No, it didn’t. I was clearly upset when I came out here.”

“Yeah, but was it really that big of a deal? I mean, your boyfriend kissed you.” He smirks. “Isn’t that kind of his job?”

“No, he didn’t just kiss me. You can’t just spring that on someone.” I dip my tone when I mention the word spring, so he can get my insinuation.

“Why not?” Apparently, he didn’t get my point.  “The moment wasn’t right? I guess I could see that. Like if you were sitting on the porch, and the girl was all pouty and you scooted over to her…” He shifts his body nearer to me. “You stared into her eyes and said, ‘You know what? You’re right, maybe the moment wasn’t right. The moment should always be right.’ Then, you’d just let him kiss you, wouldn’t you?” he says, his eyes staring deeply into mine.

My heart flutters a little as he gets closer to me. My thoughts are muted as his lips come toward me. I don’t ward him off. A thought passing through my mind to push him away, but it’s only a fleeting thought. My eyes won’t blink, I’m too enthralled, wondering how sweet his lips might be. 

“See, Gareth’s an idiot. You want to be kissed. He just lacks the fucking ability to not be a dickwad about it.”

What? Oh, my gosh! I thought David was going to kiss me. He’s right. I do like to be kissed. If David would have kissed me, I don’t think I would have disliked it.